random writings

A Tribute to Transportation Secretary Joseph Emilio Abaya

With less than three months to go before the end of the glorious administration of Benigno Aquino III, it is but apt on this April Fools Day to pay tribute to one of the greatest cabinet officials of his administration, Transportation Secretary Joseph Emilio Abaya.

How can the Urban Roamer pay tribute to his legacy without mentioning his illustrious lineage as the great grandson of the greatest president ever Emilio Aguinaldo. So what if Aguinaldo is accused of killing Andres Bonifacio and Antonio Luna? Those are just unfounded accusations of a biased liberal media and internet, you hear me? But I digress…sorry about that.

Being a Cornell University graduate, Sec. Abaya has proven himself to be competent guy when he entered the government sector. As a politician, he served as representative of Cavite’s old 1st district, who managed to help pass important legislation such as….such as….sorry I’m too lazy to make an effort today. So do your damn research and stop bugging me!

Sorry, the Urban Roamer is feeling testy today. But back to our tribute, Abaya made a name for himself as a staunch defender of the glorious administration of Benigno Aquino III and his Daang Matuwid. Never mind those criticisms against the “alleged” incompetence and corruption in the Aquino adminstration. Again, the work of the evil and biased liberal media and internet y’all!

As the incumbent Transportation Secretary since 2012, Abaya has made a number of remarkable achievements. Because of him, our transportation system is now known all over the world. Thanks to him, our transportation reached unique milestones such as derailed trains that even go past the railway tracks, brokedown trains, long queues of passengers especially along Line 3 because of the lack of trains, bullets in luggages that magically appear in our airport…Sec. Abaya has done such a wonderful job.

Yes, Abaya deserves a royal treatment! How dare you say otherwise??

And to those who have been criticizing Sec. Abaya for his remarks about the traffic being not fatal, it’s your fault! You should be using helicopters or planes instead to get around the metropolis!

As far as I’m concerned, Sec. Joseph Emilio Abaya is the best transportation secretary, evarrrr!!!!

And yeah, I am really, really stoned and drunk right now as I write this. Can you tell?


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